madness all round and Tims need of a technicolour dreamcoat

I’m going mad. Yesterday I tried to click the cornflakes container into the base of the kettle, in replace of the kettle, and I took a cup down from the cupboard to have a drink of water and tried to drink out of it before putting water in it… and now I have lost my keys, thinking they are at work, but now I am here and they’re not and I’m locked out of my house and car and am stuck in the office for the rest of my life. WAH. It is lucky we have louvre windows in our home, because you just slide the glass out and you’re in. But please don’t rob us (our Hungarian and insane landlord would assassinate you anyway, like he will me if I get sprung halfway in)

Tim claimed this morning that I take advantage of him because I try to have conversations with him in his sleep. Last night he was like “The periods nearly over” I said “huh, Tim?” and he said “school” and I said “Ohh, school, yes?” and then he must have realised he was sleep talking because he tried to style it out and turn it into a normal conversation… but I wasn’t fooled. Tim is at his most profound in slumber: at 4am he had this dream about us sailing to South America with no one else in the world but, alas, we kept falling out into the ocean of global calamity and injustice- for, of course, without God as navigator all efforts on this behemothic sea are futile. Amen.

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